How I Like To Work

Often prospective clients will ask me how I work. It is a challenging question to answer simply, as my therapeutic approach with each client and couple will vary depending on their issues and needs.

In general, I believe strongly in people’s ability to grow and change. I see my work with clients as collaboration, a partnership. In many ways you are the expert on yourself. However, often when people come to me they find it difficult to perceive themselves clearly. My job is to listen to you carefully and, by questioning, help you to learn about yourself, better understand your thoughts, feelings, and what has led you to think and feel as you do. As I can reflect this information back, and we examine it together, the issues that brought you to therapy can be resolved

My style is straightforward. I tend to be active and somewhat directive, but how active I am with any client depends on how that client and I assess their preferences and what approach will be most effective for them. In our initial meetings we will establish goals, and agree upon a reasonable time frame for our work together. It is important to have agreement on what it is we are working to achieve, though often the goal may change over time. I believe trust to be an important element in psychotherapy, therefore I will encourage you to be as honest as possible, both in what you are able to share with me and in your response to our work. In that same spirit, I will want you to raise with me any questions or concerns that you may have at any time about how our work is going.

My practice philosophy
While I may utilize a number of different therapeutic methods, my approach is primarily psychodynamic, which reflects my belief that feelings and behavior are strongly influenced by early life experiences. We develop views of the world and patterns of behavior as a result of these experiences which become our way of being in the world. Sometimes these views and behaviors cause us considerable pain. As we increase our understanding of how these influences affect us, we gain better ability to make positive choices in resolving problems and determining the direction for our life.

In therapy, as we talk together about events and issues that concern you, you can learn to see how certain views and behaviors that you hold may be interfering with your ability to manage your life as well as you wish. This information can help you to make positive changes.

I also have been influenced by Irv Yalom and the interpersonal and existential theoretical framework from which he practices. These influences have led to my belief that our ability to form close relationships is important for the satisfaction we find in life. Therefore, I pay a lot of attention to the role of relationships in my clients’ lives.

I also very much enjoy working with couples, and for this draw heavily on the work of John Gottman, among others. Dr. Gottman is recognized for his research on the interaction of couples that he has done at the University of Washingon. He has written many helpful books on the subject that I often suggest for clients to read. You can learn more about how I work with couples by reading my article on Relationships and premarital counseling.

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